15.2.03
just picked up my sis from piano class...saw my piano tchr....so long nvr see her liao, still looks chio, hah. haix, she said i became thinner...realli meh..she seems to say that all the time...dunno. but i know i'm not thinner. the last time she said that was after i was ill...er...that one of cos im thinner la...i mean, once i'm sick, im seriously sick...and i dun eat, it's hell. miss her actually...[my piano tchr i mean]
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woke up quite early...well, not realli la. 0815...and i guessed the time before i looked at the clock...and i was right! hmmm, i'm quite good at guessing the time i wake up by just looking out of the window...hehe. aniwaez, dad didn't wake up on time...cos he went to play mahjong last night...and apparently needed the sleep. sooo....nobody bought breakfast. AND, nobody noticed till 0845....fifteen mins before my sis had to go for piano lesson. kiez, so she had to eat instant noodles..haha...too bad...and mum had to send her. and i had to go hungry for the time being....but ended up eating last night's noodles from my grandparents' house..was quite sucky, haha...overnight food....so now, i feel so unsatisfied with the breakfast. yux....had milo also, which wasn't that great. going to study today, i must i must i must. cannot be lazy~~~
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had guides as usual today...was quite okay la...just that had tuition str8 after that..so i'm damn sleepy and my eyelids are shutting. haix. tutor says today's last lesson...k lor..think she also lazy to teach liao...i also lazy to have tuition liao....she leave me to handle Os myself. best. ask me to feel secure by myself..cos i tell her that i have tuition cos i feel insecure....and she says "security comes from within"....ok best..i think i realli need that security...aniwaez, intend to sleep mebbe..or study for common tests a bit. studies come first. yes. must drill that fact into my head everyday mann...guides today...supposed to scold sec 1s wan..haha..but in the end no time..so didn't scold, lucky them. ..mebbe nx week. they're getting out of hand. hmmmz....terri says that me and cali very fierce and strict...realli meh? but we 'strict' then the sec 1s attitudes still like that....shouldn't we be stricter then?? think she's just lenient. agree??? hmm...my junior says that her class chairman is very hot now..as in, got many ppl like her...sec 1 chairman...realli can't blive..and she says got a lot of ppl gave her v day pressies....realli meh??? that great sia....and another junior from guides likes that chairman. me and daph going to investigate on monday...to SEE FOR OURSELVES. hehehe...hope daph doesn't fall into an immediate crush upon seeing the shuai chairman....accdg to my junior, looks a lot like a boy. k...i won't like juniors, so i'm safe. haha. just want to kaypo here and there...take a look...heheheh.
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14.2.03
made up my mind. yes yash, i have -- after not-much consideration...but er, it has to go. aniwaez, had stomachache again...again lor. just have this feeling that i'm either developing some gastric problems or stomach ulcer??? so freaky...but i just hope it's merely serious hunger pangs...but the thing is i'm not hungry, but it does heal after eating...weird weird weird. wonder if it has to do with anxiety and all that...sudden surge of adrenaline? not too sure...it's onli lately that this has been repeatedly occuring. haix. many things on my mind as usual....will try to study asap. must pick up from where i was taken away...wad a tragic story.
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happy v day!~ as exepcted, today was an eventful day. had many different feelings thruout the dae...happy...not-so-happy...and dunno how to describe the rest. oh yah, and paiseh was one of the greatest feelings....realli...nvr felt so paiseh in my entire life. malu yes, umpteen times. but this's the first time the paiseh feeling is so strong. and jiayi..best...your dearest admirer...hahahah...."you rock my world"...yea mann...you rock my world. got many things to say but can't write them here. hmmz...yash, you must tell me kiez...if u regard me as a fren. :( today's a maths was total shit again la...heck liao, realli...these couple of days haven't been listening in class, haven't been putting in serious studying....everything's shit. somehow my mind's just elsewhere....it'd better get back to normal. or else. was talking to dorothy in the bus and missed my stop again. AGAIN. the last time was becos i was thinking of someone that i like...and this time it's because i was talking abt someone i like. wadehell...so walked back lor...then started raining...was slightly wet. now pouring outside....hmmz..jiayi, hope you have an umbrella with you becos i can't supply you with one today. good luck..hehe.
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13.2.03
your asshole.
What swear word are you?
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hmmz...most of the qns i didn't realli have an answer in the options given...so well, wonder if this is actually accurate. nevertheless, i don't mind being the word "asshole"...suits me quite well since i use it quite often, haha. sis just railed at me over the phone...asshole...realli...venting her anger on dear old me. haix.
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just recovered from an excruciating stomachache...dunno wadz the cause of it...but finally, it's over. just lay on my bed and after a minute or so, viola~ it's gone. wadehell. making a fool out of me mann. was damn painful. thank goodness jiayi walked back with me, and kept my mind occupied and off the pain...so it wasn't that bad climbing up the hill after all. doubt it's due to what i ate. and yes, i ate, so it can't possibly be gastrics again right? hmmz...so i guess i'll be going to sch tml..and having mass run....*bleahz* tomorrow's v day..dunno wad to do. hope it'll be as what i wish it to be...ya, and to all my frenz out there, i love you. realli...seriously. wonder wad jurong east will think tml...ha!! hope she doesn't expect us to give her sth mann....wahahhaha...if she does, so sorry mann, but she shall be disappointed. *evil grinz* gtg study for the dumb a maths test. p & c's going to kill me...bet i will do terrible for this test. hmmz, that reminds me...physics....physics remedial...asshole lor...can't believe i'm down for remedial...wadehell....it's like onli this test la, pls lor...and tan tze yong just gives the heck care attitude. fine lor...i shan't turn up for remedial and go for chinese instead.
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12.2.03
feeling totally fucked up. didn't mean to use that word but still think that that's the only appropriate word for what i'm currently feeling. yash, sorry, i know i shouldn't use that word. niwaez, there's a reason for what i'm feeling now la..but dun wish to explain. just that i was suddenly thrown into an entirely sian and depressed mood la. damn bored and lonely also. haix. sister abandoned me for her frenz and her party, nvm, it isn't her fault. she well deserves a break anyway. rachel, my sis's friend, also my sec 1 junior from guides, started telling my sis and other ppl abt guides. and footdrill. to quote what she said, footdrill was "terrible", ha. how can footdrill be fun anyway right? heck. close one eye, or rather, close on ear. footdrill's a must anyway, whether you like it or not. even my sis dislikes footdrill too...i guess one cannot fall in love with footdrill rightaway right...it needs time. i didn't like footdrill inititally either, till i got the hang of it maybe. guess footdrill is just like liking someone - you can't possibly like a person at first sight, i strictly don't believe in that. it's ridiculous sometimes, or perhaps i haven't met with any such encounters, so i have no clue of how it feels like.
got many things to say to someone but haven't exactly found a way to put it and an appropriate time to say it. it has to be soon though - shouldn't drag this on for too long. chatted for quite a long time with yanjing today. it was realli fun, thks yanjing. the only reason why i had to hang up was that my lunch was on the table, the ants were bringing their colonies over to attack it and my dad kept pestering me to go and eat. k. still so irritated now. i need more social company i think. thank goodess im not an only child. can't imagine the hell i'd have to go through staring at the four walls and with only my dad and mum as company, which obviously isn't much. jiayi, wish you could pop over and visit me now, since you're the nearest person available, haix...so damn sick and tired.
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11.2.03
9:33am. sis's b'dae today. well well...hope everything goes fine for her. :) will be doing my maths hw soon and hopefully i know how to do the qns, hah. can't stand it when i dunno how to do, it's very sickening. will probably blog later, got nothing to say now, since it's so early in the morning and nothing exciting can possibly happen. aniwaez, to yash, selamat hari raya~ enjoy yourself if u're going away!
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some idiotic prob with hotmail...cannot send a single mail. idiot. thinking of a way to restore my tagboard. saw someone who managed to, hope i can make it.
to yash: thks for your card..or should i say .exe animation...wadever. i love you lotz too. :) [sth wrong wtih my hotmail, as stated above, so i can't reply via email, gotta end up doing it here, how pathetic]
jo cried upon reading my v dae card. can't believe this, she's so touched. and i'm touched by her - for simply being able to appreciate what i meant. thks jo. that's all i ask of someone...so simple yet so hard to achieve. just spare me some attn and time pls
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hmmz...yashira's blog...funky title sia...ancient damnation...ahhahah...can't believe you man, yash. whole dae ancient damnation..dun like that phrase, hehe, no offence! :D
bored. jiayi just went home. walked her home without closing my door. was so scared someone would just go in, haha. so after that, i quickly walked home...or else, i'd be held responsible if anything untoward were to happen, and my dad will probably chop me up into thousand and one pieces for being so careless and really care-less. i knew the door wasn't closed, i knew it, but still did it. ya, i deserve it actually. .hehe.
mrs lee came in for cme today. k...not bad la...was trying so hard to restrain myself from giggling when she first came in, dunno y, but felt so weird with her talking in class...but i guess she quite nice la, just that everybody was so stoned and didn't dare respond to her qns...but i like the peacock feather la, ahha. quite fun logic. :)
sis' bdae tml..happy b'dae to her!! her frenz coming. will try to study tml..for the dumb a maths test. sux.
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10.2.03
new layout again. dunno y but i easily get sick of my blog skins. aniwaez, have to do without a tagboard for the time being..cos..no space to put it. haha. will probably get it back either when i find space or when i change my blog skin again... :)
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Disorder Rating Paranoid: Low Schizoid: Low Schizotypal: Low Antisocial: Low Borderline: Low Histrionic: High Narcissistic: Moderate Avoidant: Low Dependent: Moderate Obsessive-Compulsive: Low
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dunno wadz the damn prob with blogger nowadays. took me such a blardee long time to get into the website. aniwaez, i better make full use of this chance to blog before anything goes wrong with blogger again..haha. hmmz...had an exhausting and draining session of lit today...but it was damn exciting too.haha. ended up laughing like mad, dunno for wad also...aniwaez, ya, it was fun. :) mebbe ms azlin should make herself absent more often, hahah. our sch asking us to order flowers, chocs and balloons for v dae...wadehell...and it's for the sch-building fund again...best. aniwae i didn't order...think it's ridiculous and at the same time.......er...going to be so awkward on vdae?? ya...today's recess damn stupid. me and daph bought spaghetti...and we put lots of 'cheese' onto it...the blardee pepper was put in the container usually storing cheese?!!!? and the stupid woman onli told us after we shook the bottle so many times and there was lots of pepper...well, somehow the colour resembled cheese so i still thot it was cheese after putting so much....ass....but anyway after trying, it wasn't that bad. in fact i think the pepper's totally pathetic. how the hell can it be that after putting so so so much, there isn't the slightest tinge of peper taste in the spaghetti? and esp for me, who's so chilli-and-pepper-hot-sensitive. hmmz...mebbe they shd consider changing their pepper. but the spaghetti was still fantastic, hehehhe. *contented* :D feeling quite joyful now. dunno y. i guess there's a reason to be happy when you haven't got any troubles...[now i know why terri always ends up beaming to herself] hope it stays that way though. ;)
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